Sunday, June 6, 2010
A New World of my Imagination
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Guess who ?
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
January 2010…A new start….New Beginning
January 2010…A new start….New Beginning
Came to Manchester with a lot of things on my mind. Things equal to baggage. Baggage equals to fights, insecurity, commitment, love, hate, emotions, passion and the list goes on. But turns out British Airways dint allow excess luggage. Technically they did but id have to pay for it. I wasn’t ready to pay because it was my new life and dint want that extra load. Had to leave the excess baggage on the airport itself, which I did. But I just couldn’t let go of one thing. I thought it was OK to carry that 1 extra kilo . So I did. Thought id always carry that 1 extra kilo with me wherever I go. Seemed like always and forever. But just realized that I no more believe in “Always and Forever” . Does it exist? If ud ask me this a few days back id say yes but I don’t feel it anymore. Anyways so this year is dedicated to the future .Fuck the past. I am sure gradually everything will seem irrelevant and then it will be irrelevant.
New year equals to new resolutions. New resolutions only happen when you have new realizations.
Realization Number 1 :
23 yrs of my life I thought I was heterosexual. But recently after madly falling in love with Cheryl Cole I thought again. Realized I wasn’t heterosexual , I wasn’t Homosexual. Realized I was TRYSEXUAL - I believe in trying everything once. Thought fair enough lets try TRYSEXUAL this year. And if it works out will stick to it.
Realization Number 2 :
Everything in Manchester has an expiry date. Name one thing that doesn’t. So thought why not use this in my everyday life .How about enjoying every bloody moment I have here to the fullest because its going come to an end soon. Why shouldn’t I enjoy every minute her e before it expires(gets dirty).Then I wondered does friendship have an expiry date? Do I still believe in Long-Distance-friendship? Will I be able to keep the distance relationship forever? The answer was clear….started with N and faded away.
Realization Number 3:
Disposable. Hated the word earlier but somehow iv started loving it now. How awesome would it be to dispose things you dont want without getting hurt. Dispose emotions for an example. Recycle them and use them to do something productive. Will really have to work hard on this one.
Realization Number 4:
Obsession. I recently realized im obsessed with shoes. Always thought why Sarah Jessica Parker went gaga over shoes.But I totally realised im a shoe lover as well. Difference being I hate heels and love flats.Im So obsessed with my phone that some one asked me what time it was. I removed my phone and checked the time when I had a watch on my hand. Obsession makes you do things. I get obsessed with people as well. So I emailed a friend. Opened my heart. Let each and every feeling out. Wrote to my friend about everything iv felt so far and the time had come to say good-bye and what the friendship meant to me and why I couldn’t be a friend anymore. Turns out The Friend wasn’t that obsessed with ME.Was obsessed with OWNSELF. All my friend wrote in the mail was about his/her life. Not a word was written about ME. Not a word was directed towards me. All the words were directed towards someone else. Not a word was written about the friendship. So I realized OBSESSION was a bad thing for me.So This year is going to be the No Obsession year for me.
Realisation Number 5
There is no right or wrong. There is just the consequence of your action. So I have to stop feeling guilty and pick a choice and face the consequences. But then I had a thought “Is a morning of awkwardness better than a night of lonliness”.Had no answer….still finding one.
Realisation Number 6
Will definitely not have an ADD(Another dating disaster) this year.This time its going to be forever and always.Did I just contradict what I wrote earlier?No I dint. I wont.I never will.
Realisation Number 7
I promise and realize a million things every minute.So this year is going to be action first and talk later year.Did I contradict myself again?
Saturday, October 24, 2009
ME- "wierder" in Manchester
2)Met this guy and told him "I smell trouble or is that your perfume"?Got my answer that night.
3)I dont hate anyone in manchester except this one guy,so went and told him to stay away from me unless he wanted his next period to come out from his nose.
4)I want to "remember tonight as the beginning of always".
5)I realised everyday is not a sunny day when u find yourself lost in the darkness,but remembered that its only in the dark night you see the stars ,stars that lead you home.
6)Iv started believing that "You are the luckiest person in the world if the one who love decides to love you back"
7)If we can have Co-ed schools is it too early for Co-ed bathrooms?
8)I wonder why we stick to the rigid circle of friends based on what sports they play,or their hobbies ,or how attractive or unattractive they are?Why the wall?
9)Sometimes i find myself asking myself "what is the answer?....the right answer?"But i realise there is no answer this is life.
10)The important thing is not to be bitter over life's dissappointments , but learn to let go of the past.
11)My Professor of Analysis of companies looks like how Pathen would look 30 yrs from now.Or have i got an overdoes of One Tree Hill.
12) 9am lecture has taught me how to sleep with my eyes open.Thats the USP of the class i guess.
13) 2 out of 7 people are on crutches here?Anyone knows the reason?
14)Saw a 70 yr old couple at Primark.The wife was scared to get on the escalator.The husband hugged her caught her hand and took the plunge.The smile on the wife's face was fabulous.I realised that may be True Love still exists.
15)This friend introduced me to John Mayor's new song called "who says i cant".I think this is the closest some song can get to my heart.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Wierd Thoughts
From dating a millionaire to dating a couple..is that a step up or step down for me ?
The thought of how i will pluck my own eyebrows in Manchester is killing me so i was wondering if power of plucking is power of attorney ?
Why does every man have to be a BATMAN in the/his cave ?
Will i ever find a person to whom i can say "You own my heart" ?
Is snow a magical blanket ,does it hide whats ugly and makes everything beautiful ?
Is there a difference between having a good time and being a good time for others?
If you tilt to the right when you kiss you are said to be more emotional than the one who tilts to the left.Is that true?
Will i ever find a guy who is so hot that he has to tell me that im not a jungle gym dont jump on me?
Is it the reflection in the mirror that scares you?
Can anyone be so mean and say that the only way to look thin is to hang around with fat people?
Why has no one ever complained about a parachute not opening?
Am i tired of men acting like boys?
Will i be happy if others share even wierder thoughts than these ?Yes i think i will be.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
It wasnt just another lecture
I went to this lecture where a Guruji was talking about life,karma,dharma,soul and God.Before the Guruji entered the followers started singing for him.To my surprise i just started crying without any reason.No reason at all.I dint know why the song made me cry.When Guruji entered and started talking i felt he was just talking to me.Once again to my surprise i couldnt control my tears.For the first time i felt and went through something iv never believed in.After the lecture i was normal again in a flash of a second.Wanted to rush back to the crazy madening fast life of Mumbai which is full of loud music,booze,flashy clothes,fake people,random conversions,bitching and friends.I felt some power was pulling me and calling me back into the bad world where i feel i totally belong.But this time it was different.Something else was pulling me back as well.Dont know what it was but for a fraction of a second i felt and i heard voices in my head saying stop doing the wrong things,stop loving what you dont have to,stop running behind things which give u temporary satisfaction.I tried to listen to it but the pull of the bad world was way more powerful.And once again i was left all confused.
Eventhough i was confused its easy to guess that i obviously choose the bad world.Once again like last two weekends i went partying and laughed my guts out while the mojito's did the magic.I started feeling that the mojito level in my body was rising each day.But i dint care much to stop enjoying.Again the weekend.Friday night no plans is just not an option.I got uneasy at home.But as always at 11 i started getting calls.Calls from various people who guranteed loud music,mojito's and heart to heart conversation.But this time i decided to go out with a friend who iv recently met.I have never partied with just a friend.I believe party means too many people.But this time i broke my rule as i love doing that.So there i go to Aurus with my friend.My friend happens to be a mojito fan as well.So we sip on the best mojito in town and start talking.I had never imagined that partying could be so much fun with just one friend.Had a blast and then we called it a night.Next day as usual started with a hangover and then a house party at a friends place.Booze,loud music once again.Got up next morning just to realise that what that guruji said was totally right.This is fucking temporary happiness,temporary satistfaction.There i was...More confused then ever.
There i was uneasy ,irritated,angry,frustated and CONFUSED.Once again im dreading the weekend.I somehow from within wish the good power pulls me harder this time.I guess the addicted fool that i am il still party this weekend but gradually il be over this temporary satisfaction.I have started believing in THE LAW OF DIMINISHING UTILITY.
Im amazed by what one lecture has done to me.It hasnt stopped me from partying but its made me aware of what i am doing is just a phase.I will get over it.I have to find something else which makes me happy forever.I have to find something that doesnt upset me the next day or next morning.I have to find peace with myself.I have to get over the fact that i attach myself to every and anyone.I have to get myself attached to him the guruji who asks for nuthing but believing and knowing yourself.
I know i am not going to change over night .May be ill take a month or a year.But somehow today i feel my gut says i will gradually change and be the person i want to be.For the first time i am not confused because i know he will take me the right way.Yes it wasnt just a lecture.At first i thought it was but i guess he wanted me to realise this myself.And im glad i went for it.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Mondat at 11
Since last few monday's im all geared up and glued to VH1.The clocks strikes 11 and im all charged up to see Paris Hiltons show called My New BFF(Best friend forever).Paris has choosen 14 girls and 2 gay guys as the contestants and out of them she will choose 1 BFF.