Confused Sarcasm

I have always wondered that if you have a million peeps (friends and family) who love you , can that one person who you love make you feel like “nothing” ,even when you have everything you have ever wanted in life? To my surprise that one person can make you feel that. Your emotions can easily make you someone’s bitch. This happens when you start loving a "forbidden piece of white chocolate".

So it all starts when your forbidden piece of white chocolate tells you “You are cute when you are mad”. The obvious answer to that is “Yeah well im about to get real fucking adorable”. The reasons are endless .To start with the people around your forbidden piece of white chocolate can take insecurity to another level. Well in my opinion some of the girls need to learn how to control their "Whoremones".And the others need to invent a mute button so that we don’t hear the sound of their stretch marks rubbing eachother.Its commendable how your forbidden piece of white chocolate  falls for chicks who commit the art of  Bragedy- (A bra not of perfect size). Secondly sometimes you forget who you’re dating, him/her or his/her ego. All you want to do is uninstall his/her existence. My question is why tease when you don’t want to please ?

In his/her defence , yes your forbidden piece of white chocolate has all the rights to get insecure cos your flirting and charming skills improve under the influence of alcohol. It is because you can drink responsibly only when there is a brand of vodka named "responsibly". But then all you can do is congratulate him/her on his/her ability to create drama out of absolutely nothing. So its best to Zip your lip. Also I agree some of us can take pmsing to a whole new level but then again there is nothing straight that cant be bent.

Its not easy to forget and forgive your forbidden piece of  white chocolate because a lover is like a cigarette, even if he/she goes away the smell still lingers.But on a positive note when you see hands of your forbidden piece of white chocolate holding two halves of your heart you immediately sell your tear ducts to organ bank for cash. You realize that Lust is a vulture, Love is a bird of paradise. Also Karma doesn’t discriminate. So when you hear those footsteps running behind you? That’s not your loved one running after you, that’s karma catching up to you.

I guess that’s all I have to say so il introduce my upper lip to my lower lip and shut the fuck up.

Content warning -  Forbidden piece of chocolate is a fictional character . You, yes you please do not take it personally . And if you think you are the Forbidden piece of white chocolate, well all i can say is wait for Karma to bite you.

A New World of my Imagination

Some call it Love , some call it Relationship , some call it Marriage , some call it Sex. But i call it LUST. Everything starts and ends with lust.Its a general belief that lust is bad.I definately dont see anything wrong in it.For me lust is intense or unrestrained sexual craving.So i say whats wrong in that. I love the sexual culture outside India. Seen so many girls here who in my term are complete sluts.If there grandma were dead they'd probably be doing summersaults in their graves.But then again a million other positive points of the culture include confidence in their sexuality and sex with their X.I love the fact that people here follow their heart and not the anatomy or is it the other way around?

Guess i'm confused.To clear all the confusion this is how i want the world to be :A world where sex was available for everyone to do, where you never have to experience guilt again, where you never have to pretend u'd shag someone because he/she had a good sense of humour, where sex was just pure physical pleasure with no strings attached , where the anthem would be " when he is away she will play", where girls dont get married and start popping babies like tic- tacs , where girls stop sreading their legs for a BMW , where its STRICTLY DICKLY , where how much you mate doesnt depend on what you ate.

I know people think i am wierd but no i am not wierd i am just a limited edition.I want a world where i have a credit card just for shoes , where i can proudly say i have a habit of collecting empty JD bottles instead of being called an alcoholic , where people dont reach a whole new level of disturbed state when i say i believe in FWB (friends with benefits) and i am Bisexual , where its perfectly normal for someone to Fuck and punch him(Hate fuck him) , where people just mind their own fucking business rather than acting like spy kids , where faggets stop doing two dollar whore's and where girls stop screaming "Fuck me like im Al -qaeda".

I never knew the problem of phone sex till my answering machine got pregnant. I never knew i could be so rude when Someone asked me how do i change myself ? and i said do i look like Dr Phill? I never knew one could go to a magnet school and not attract anyone. So yes i am gonna do what i want hereon as i dont want to be another brick in the wall.Its time to live life like i wanted to.Its time to get drunk and get a heart burn in your brain.So yes im shutting my front door as i will attract natural disasters after this blog.

Guess who ?

Had way too much freedom back home but when you get to stay alone you feel like a star.Thats what i felt when i came to Manchester.No restrictions what so ever.

Day 1 in Manchester- left home at 11:30 pm for a party and came home at 8 am.Slept all day to realise i can do this every single day and no one will stop me.Did that for a couple of weeks before i realised i had more JD than blood in my body.Stopped partying for 3 days but the love for JD dint go. To be frank it will never go but switched to Lambrini. Whiskey to Wine what a change?Thats when i realised that it doesnt matter how much you love something but if you get a substitute you forget what you love.Am i a substitute for someone now?Is someone my new substitute?I hope im still talking about Whisky and Wine here.Am i ?

Found a couple of whisky, wine and vodka lovers.In other words found new friends.Each and every one of them had a wierd habbit.And i love wierd.So i leave it up to you'l to judge if its wierd or perfectly fine.

This guy is obsessed with cars and cant think beyond that.Hates gujjus more than he loves cars.When he smiles his eyes shut and raises his hand for a high five everytime im around.Hates cooking and cleaning and acts all cute with the girls so they make food for him and clean his dishes.A huge lover of sheesha.A guy who understands all my perv jokes in one go.A guy who i think tells me everything he feels from his heart.A guy who takes me as his best friend and so do i.

This girl who stands tall has a habbit of saying "But I am toh just saying".Loves to sing Riverside motherF*****.Happy at times but a sad face on and off.Never seen a smile throughout the day on her face but i hope to soon.Loves her babu.Gets too senti when she is drunk and loves her family beyond imagination.

This guy is a chillesh soul.Sheesha ,partying and music are his best friends.A virgo at heart exactly like me.Gives too much importance to people he shouldnt be bothered about exactly like me again.Gets too involved and pretends that he is not hurt.Exactly like me once again.Happy go lucky and care free attitude with a smiling face always.

Petite PP has this wierd way in which she tries to say something but laughs instead. A Cleanliness freak who sips on water throughout the day in her Tesco glass.Has this habit of saying "ya exactly" when she is talking to me.Sober soul.Pun intended.Never gets high.A shy chick but apparently opens and is super free when it comes to me.

This guy gave me this feeling since day one that he respects me as a friend.He looks upto me and likes me for my F*** you ,I dont care attitude.Strong from the outside but a softy in reality.Thinks alot about things happening here in Manchester.Gets affected by it but doesnt show it.Has this wierd habbit of dozing off while watching movies.Makes awesome hot chocolate and has the best choice when it comes to food.Has this habit of saying "hey guys lets not judge people here"Wants to make the most out of his one year in Manchester by travelling and talking to different kinds of people.Had the best Birmingham trip with him.A trip il never forget.

This Dancing Diva makes me laugh the most with her goof-ups.Be it Frankies , Town school , Seven stones , Thunking , I take everyday as it comes.She is always laughing even on her own jokes.Loves going to city centre.10 days during the exam were the craziest days iv spent with her.Had the best Birmingham trip with him.A trip il never forget.Love her M moments.

This girl has got a second life but dares to do whatever she feels like.This is something that i love about her.Claims to make the best cheese toast in town.Since few days her one liners are matching upto my level of expectation.Chops the person if and when necessary.Thinks the same way i think about guys.Has this wierd way of laughing when she goes blahhhhh in the start and calms down slowly.And recently iv become a fan of the game she invented called "your mom".

This girl reminds me everyday that i have come to Manchester to party and not to study.Oops sorry the other way around.A good cook who feels free to tell me almost all her secrets.Also i love the fact she tells me almost everyday how much she likes my attitude.Definately a feel good factor.A diet and gym freak who controls her moves.She is gradually coming out of her shell and i am loving it.She is one girl i want to spoil in Manchester and i am sure i will.

She loves purple.Hates it when we have a Mumbai-Delhi discussion.Loves chocolates and thats her meal most of the days.Maltesers is her staple diet.Has Brain freeze when she is out in the cold.Doesnt understand the jokes in the first go and has a confused look for the first 10 seconds and then when the joke is explained she has this awesome smile.Have had the best sms chats with her.Can pull off the sms chats really well which is impressive since im a complete sms person.A very reserved person who i would love to know.

This guy has the sharpest nose in Manchester and im a big fan of pointed nose.Always drunken play with his nose.He is the male version of me when it comes to dirty talking and sex gyaan.The way we think about things is so similar that sometimes it scares the shit out of me.Awesome coffee maker.Had the best Birmingham trip with him.A trip il never forget.

She is a Coke lover.A God sent girl who doesnt know the meaning of being bitchy, rude and mean.Loves dancing on hindi songs.Praises all the shittiest movies you can possibly think of.The most decent girl here who i cant spoil.

A small town girl.Knows everyone in her town but hardly knows anyone here.Watching movies and shopping at M&S is her favourite past time.Best cook when it comes to pav bhaji , poha and chaas.Never seen anyone so tensed like her when she puts her nail polish.Totally believes in the art of attachment and detachment which i want to learn.

This farmer boi is the best guy dancer in Manchester.His steps have taken over my steps and i cant do my steps anymore.Has this habit of saying "arre arre arre".Makes you drink till you drop and does the best jive and salsa.A really chilled out guy who id want to know more.

Dint really talk to this guy in the start but one drunken JD night we started talking and been hitting it off really well now.Love it when he joins me when im making fun of the dancing diva.A vegetarian Chelsea fan who laughs alot.

But i am still waiting for this one wierd person who beats me in the wierdness !!!!

January 2010…A new start….New Beginning

January 2010…A new start….New Beginning

Came to Manchester with a lot of things on my mind. Things equal to baggage. Baggage equals to fights, insecurity, commitment, love, hate, emotions, passion and the list goes on. But turns out British Airways dint allow excess luggage. Technically they did but id have to pay for it. I wasn’t ready to pay because it was my new life and dint want that extra load. Had to leave the excess baggage on the airport itself, which I did. But I just couldn’t let go of one thing. I thought it was OK to carry that 1 extra kilo . So I did. Thought id always carry that 1 extra kilo with me wherever I go. Seemed like always and forever. But just realized that I no more believe in “Always and Forever” . Does it exist? If ud ask me this a few days back id say yes but I don’t feel it anymore. Anyways so this year is dedicated to the future .Fuck the past. I am sure gradually everything will seem irrelevant and then it will be irrelevant.

New year equals to new resolutions. New resolutions only happen when you have new realizations.

Realization Number 1 :

23 yrs of my life I thought I was heterosexual. But recently after madly falling in love with Cheryl Cole I thought again. Realized I wasn’t heterosexual , I wasn’t Homosexual. Realized I was TRYSEXUAL - I believe in trying everything once. Thought fair enough lets try TRYSEXUAL this year. And if it works out will stick to it.

Realization Number 2 :

Everything in Manchester has an expiry date. Name one thing that doesn’t. So thought why not use this in my everyday life .How about enjoying every bloody moment I have here to the fullest because its going come to an end soon. Why shouldn’t I enjoy every minute her e before it expires(gets dirty).Then I wondered does friendship have an expiry date? Do I still believe in Long-Distance-friendship? Will I be able to keep the distance relationship forever? The answer was clear….started with N and faded away.

Realization Number 3:

Disposable. Hated the word earlier but somehow iv started loving it now. How awesome would it be to dispose things you dont want without getting hurt. Dispose emotions for an example. Recycle them and use them to do something productive. Will really have to work hard on this one.

Realization Number 4:

Obsession. I recently realized im obsessed with shoes. Always thought why Sarah Jessica Parker went gaga over shoes.But I totally realised im a shoe lover as well. Difference being I hate heels and love flats.Im So obsessed with my phone that some one asked me what time it was. I removed my phone and checked the time when I had a watch on my hand. Obsession makes you do things. I get obsessed with people as well. So I emailed a friend. Opened my heart. Let each and every feeling out. Wrote to my friend about everything iv felt so far and the time had come to say good-bye and what the friendship meant to me and why I couldn’t be a friend anymore. Turns out The Friend wasn’t that obsessed with ME.Was obsessed with OWNSELF. All my friend wrote in the mail was about his/her life. Not a word was written about ME. Not a word was directed towards me. All the words were directed towards someone else. Not a word was written about the friendship. So I realized OBSESSION was a bad thing for me.So This year is going to be the No Obsession year for me.

Realisation Number 5

There is no right or wrong. There is just the consequence of your action. So I have to stop feeling guilty and pick a choice and face the consequences. But then I had a thought “Is a morning of awkwardness better than a night of lonliness”.Had no answer….still finding one.

Realisation Number 6

Will definitely not have an ADD(Another dating disaster) this year.This time its going to be forever and always.Did I just contradict what I wrote earlier?No I dint. I wont.I never will.

Realisation Number 7

I promise and realize a million things every minute.So this year is going to be action first and talk later year.Did I contradict myself again?

ME- "wierder" in Manchester

1)Since iv come to manchester I havent had cakes so was wondering if Cakes are the first class sugar Coma ?Yes is all i could hear.

2)Met this guy and told him "I smell trouble or is that your perfume"?Got my answer that night.

3)I dont hate anyone in manchester except this one guy,so went and told him to stay away from me unless he wanted his next period to come out from his nose.

4)I want to "remember tonight as the beginning of always".

5)I realised everyday is not a sunny day when u find yourself lost in the darkness,but remembered that its only in the dark night you see the stars ,stars that lead you home.

6)Iv started believing that "You are the luckiest person in the world if the one who love decides to love you back"

7)If we can have Co-ed schools is it too early for Co-ed bathrooms?

8)I wonder why we stick to the rigid circle of friends based on what sports they play,or their hobbies ,or how attractive or unattractive they are?Why the wall?

9)Sometimes i find myself asking myself "what is the answer?....the right answer?"But i realise there is no answer this is life.

10)The important thing is not to be bitter over life's dissappointments , but learn to let go of the past.

11)My Professor of Analysis of companies looks like how Pathen would look 30 yrs from now.Or have i got an overdoes of One Tree Hill.

12) 9am lecture has taught me how to sleep with my eyes open.Thats the USP of the class i guess.

13) 2 out of 7 people are on crutches here?Anyone knows the reason?

14)Saw a 70 yr old couple at Primark.The wife was scared to get on the escalator.The husband hugged her caught her hand and took the plunge.The smile on the wife's face was fabulous.I realised that may be True Love still exists.

15)This friend introduced me to John Mayor's new song called "who says i cant".I think this is the closest some song can get to my heart.

Wierd Thoughts

I love wierd.I love being wierd.I love wierd people and I love wierd thoughts.The wierdo that i am i have wierd thoughts every other second.

From dating a millionaire to dating a couple..is that a step up or step down for me ?

The thought of how i will pluck my own eyebrows in Manchester is killing me so i was wondering if power of plucking is power of attorney ?

Why does every man have to be a BATMAN in the/his cave ?

Will i ever find a person to whom i can say "You own my heart" ?

Is snow a magical blanket ,does it hide whats ugly and makes everything beautiful ?

Is there a difference between having a good time and being a good time for others?

If you tilt to the right when you kiss you are said to be more emotional than the one who tilts to the left.Is that true?

Will i ever find a guy who is so hot that he has to tell me that im not a jungle gym dont jump on me?

Is it the reflection in the mirror that scares you?

Can anyone be so mean and say that the only way to look thin is to hang around with fat people?

Why has no one ever complained about a parachute not opening?

Am i tired of men acting like boys?

Will i be happy if others share even wierder thoughts than these ?Yes i think i will be.

It wasnt just another lecture

Lately iv been in a confused state or rather it would be only true if id say i have been confused always, all my life.Confusion continues and i wonder when it will end.So i took a stand and thought id work upon it.

I went to this lecture where a Guruji was talking about life,karma,dharma,soul and God.Before the Guruji entered the followers started singing for him.To my surprise i just started crying without any reason.No reason at all.I dint know why the song made me cry.When Guruji entered and started talking i felt he was just talking to me.Once again to my surprise i couldnt control my tears.For the first time i felt and went through something iv never believed in.After the lecture i was normal again in a flash of a second.Wanted to rush back to the crazy madening fast life of Mumbai which is full of loud music,booze,flashy clothes,fake people,random conversions,bitching and friends.I felt some power was pulling me and calling me back into the bad world where i feel i totally belong.But this time it was different.Something else was pulling me back as well.Dont know what it was but for a fraction of a second i felt and i heard voices in my head saying stop doing the wrong things,stop loving what you dont have to,stop running behind things which give u temporary satisfaction.I tried to listen to it but the pull of the bad world was way more powerful.And once again i was left all confused.

Eventhough i was confused its easy to guess that i obviously choose the bad world.Once again like last two weekends i went partying and laughed my guts out while the mojito's did the magic.I started feeling that the mojito level in my body was rising each day.But i dint care much to stop enjoying.Again the weekend.Friday night no plans is just not an option.I got uneasy at home.But as always at 11 i started getting calls.Calls from various people who guranteed loud music,mojito's and heart to heart conversation.But this time i decided to go out with a friend who iv recently met.I have never partied with just a friend.I believe party means too many people.But this time i broke my rule as i love doing that.So there i go to Aurus with my friend.My friend happens to be a mojito fan as well.So we sip on the best mojito in town and start talking.I had never imagined that partying could be so much fun with just one friend.Had a blast and then we called it a night.Next day as usual started with a hangover and then a house party at a friends place.Booze,loud music once again.Got up next morning just to realise that what that guruji said was totally right.This is fucking temporary happiness,temporary satistfaction.There i was...More confused then ever.

There i was uneasy ,irritated,angry,frustated and CONFUSED.Once again im dreading the weekend.I somehow from within wish the good power pulls me harder this time.I guess the addicted fool that i am il still party this weekend but gradually il be over this temporary satisfaction.I have started believing in THE LAW OF DIMINISHING UTILITY.

Im amazed by what one lecture has done to me.It hasnt stopped me from partying but its made me aware of what i am doing is just a phase.I will get over it.I have to find something else which makes me happy forever.I have to find something that doesnt upset me the next day or next morning.I have to find peace with myself.I have to get over the fact that i attach myself to every and anyone.I have to get myself attached to him the guruji who asks for nuthing but believing and knowing yourself.

I know i am not going to change over night .May be ill take a month or a year.But somehow today i feel my gut says i will gradually change and be the person i want to be.For the first time i am not confused because i know he will take me the right way.Yes it wasnt just a lecture.At first i thought it was but i guess he wanted me to realise this myself.And im glad i went for it.